Still looking....

I'm looking for my happy place.

I realized last night how I allow people to walk all over me.

I actually have a comment a blogger wrote on day I printed off and tacked to my partition as a reminder. Sits right in front of my face. It states "No-one else is living your life except you" Isn't that the greatest!?

I think I need to make it bigger. As I have not been following this.

I allow people to use me use me use me. My child is the best at this.

She knows right where that guilt button is and pushes it ALL the time.

As I told a very good companion last night. I have NO-ONE but me to blame.

I gave my 3 old twins everything they wanted when I left their father. I didn't want them to want for anything. And they didn't! What kinda mother leaves a child's daddy. Oh we had joint custody. They got to see him as much as me. But even before they knew what guilt was I taught them. "Oh your sad? You miss daddy. Let mommy fix that and buy you a toy."

In the shower this am at the gym. I'm thinking how am I going to deal with D (nosey) this am.
If he asks me how my WW meeting went. I will just say "Lets please keep our conversations to work and not my personal life. It's like he knows when to NOT speak to me.
He said NOTHING. Yes this good.

It's just another one of those things. When he does ask it will throw me off guard and I forget how to say it without sound harsh. Or fear of sounding harsh.

My parents raised me and my 4 siblings to speak when you're spoke to. Never talk back. And if you don't have anything good to say don't say it.
So I still keep my mouth shut to those who I have a difficult time with.
Better that way right?

I say this because I'm allowing him, D ruin my contentment.
I can't go on like this. How do I STOP!??!!?