Grab those little things!!!

Sitting at the light last night on my way home. On the cell chatting with my daughter about dinner. I look to the left lane and see the most beautiful big black lab in the back of this little blue car. I just gaze, thinking what a gorgeous dog. Suddenly I see a hand come up under the chin of the dog. I look to the front seat and see the driver looking at me and giving me a huge grin.

Of course I smile back and turn to watch the light. Still red crap! I can feel the flush on my cheeks. I look again and now there's a golden lab! He has 3 dogs! Yup still giving me that huge grin. I have to say it made me feel good.

Hub just told me a few nights ago, that he notices people looking at me. See I still see myself the 45 lbs heavier. He always tells me when we're out and about. "Hey that guy just checked out your ass."

I have to say these are the moments I need to remember. It makes me feel pretty good.


Funny thing I was reading blogs this am and http://rumblingsandbumblings.blogspot.com/ had a dream and she asks "Any dream analysis people out there??"

I had a couple of weird ones, BUT the one that really stands out for me.
These two guys come to us looking to get money to fund some guns. As there church is putting a wild game dinner and they need to go out and hunt the wild game. (This isn't even close to the work I do???)
But anyway to make a long dream short. They are leaving and Nosey jumps up and positions himself to be frisked?? So the guy is like ok?!?!?! And frisks him. Than my alarm went off.....

Home....

Just got home from a week of camping.
It was so enjoyable. I had my days to myself. Sure it rained 1/2 the time. But it was ok.
I ran, I read, I watched movies, I baked.
The best part, I had NO computer!
I didn't know what was going on at my job accept for a text or two filling me in.
I come home and decided to check my email-bad news! Nosey has decided to pull his resignation!
Boss wants to pull me for a private meeting. I think she thinks I will start looking.
I love my job I really do. I just can't stand my surroundings. I won't leave.
My fear is, she will tell me I have to befriend him. I sure as hell hope not. That won't be happening.
Why is it we can't come home and keep that happy relaxed fun feeling?
Why does reality have to slap you in the face?

I wonder?

When will I feel your arms around me?

Your warm breath on my neck,

as your soft lips brush across it

looking for my lips?

Wanta

I really really wanta write.
BUT it seems all I have right now is negative
There are some positives but,
I can't even seem to begin to know what they are....
I feel blinded by the sour things.
They are pulling me into a big black hole.

Mama always said,,,,,,

If you don't have anything good to say don't say anything.
So I guess I'll be quiet now. Cause all I wanta is cry and have a number of times.
Hopefully something good will come along real soon.
Until then................

Do you ever wonder??

All those who pass by and don't leave any comments.
Do you wonder what they think of you?
Do you wonder how those who do leave comments think you?
I have opened up a few times.
I have made on line friends.
I write and wonder if I pull them closer or push them away?
I just want to say thanks to you all.
For reading.
For leaving comments.
For sending me emails.
Being very kind.
A GREAT BIG THANK YOU!

Who am I??

That is a good question?

I honesty don't know?

I fear skin cancer I still tan in a tanning bed every spring.

I fear STD's but I didn't have safe sex when I was being naughty.

I fear being found out with my on line fun. Doesn't stop me.

I love the attention of men.

I get talked about and get mad.

I hate gossip! If you want to talk about me fine. BUT make sure you have the facts.

I flirt does this mean I ask for it??

I have more male friends than female.

Speaking for MYSELF only-I'm a bitch! I have days I don't speak to those around me.

I will hold a grudge. You bite me I bite back then withdrawal and won't speak to you.

I hate that my teeth have a small gap right in the front.

I do Weight Watchers. I fear I will gain the weight back.

I was told a couple of weeks ago I was a lot fatter than I said my weight was.

I lost 5lbs that week. Still losing this week. I don't lie about my weight. I will proudly tell anyone who ask.

I love knowing I could meet the goal of the national average.

I hate people thinking I'm FAT-I have a goal to get to the point I was when I was told I was TOO thin.

I fear going old and getting wrinkles.

I grew up on farms my whole child hood. I was not the popular girl in school.

I am now called one of the high maintenance girls in the locker room at the gym.

Nosey feels I'm the popular one here in the office and I control what everyone does.

When did this happen???

I have had affairs in the past.

I don't think I will ever be faithful. I want to be. The guilt kills me but doesn't stop me. I like the danger, the newness, the attention. I'm sure there is so much more that draws me to others.......