Hooking up

I did something I have never done in my life!
I hooked up with someone I have never met in person.
We have talked many many times. On the phone and on line.
I had a great time. It was nothing like I expected it to be.
He was such a perfect gentleman.
I pictured going into the room and having my our clothes ripped off and throwing ourselves on the bed. And going at it for hours.
It wasn't like that at all, he knew how nervous I was as I was shaking so badly.
He gave me a gentle kiss and I felt all my fear melt away.
Yeah there was wild sex, gentle sex, all kinds.
It was a great experience.

But I must say there were some hardships getting to this point.
I have a hubby who knows nothing of my affairs.
I love him very much. I would never want to hurt him.
I have a boyfriend-Who knows everything. I have not lied to him.
I hate having to always tell him the truth but I won't keep it from him.
So yes my guilt was doubled.

The problem is now it's his turn.
It started out with him "getting me at back" He was jabbing me pretty bad.
As he wasn't happy about my hooking up.
Now it's more of a "I have set up my sex date and I have to see it through. "
The problem being he has been with her before.
I was with someone completely new.
So of course my way of thinking is he has feelings for her.
I don't think his will be a one time deal as mine was.

I hope that if anything this makes our relationship stronger, as he said maybe
we can both bring something from our individual experiences back to each other.
I told him he is the best I have ever had and I don't want to lose him.
I hope I can get through his hook up as well as he did with mine.
Once we both get past the jabbing and trying to hurt each other.